The Tough Guy Chronicles: Cold as Ice

Today's Tough Guy has a lot to learn. Apparently, common sense is lost on our writer as they attempt to fall asleep.

From the Ramble Kid,

Titled: Listen to Big Sister

"I had a headache and thought a little coffee would zap the problem. My sister said that I wouldn't be able to sleep if I had the coffee. She was right. It is almost 2:30 in the morning, and I am not the least bit drowsy. The two Excedrin got rid of my headache. Of course Excedrin contains caffeine. Ultimately I was up until past 5:00 am. Never again shall I enjoy my coffee at night. Plus my teeth are starting to hurt from eating trays of ice cubes compulsively. Perhaps an iron deficiency. I need a sleeping pill the size of a donut."

I wish that I could make this stuff up. Our Tough Guy had a little headache, so they decided to drink a some coffee. Sounds about right. Many pain relievers contain caffeine and caffeine can relieve tension headaches in many cases. However, they omitted what time they consumed said coffee. If this Tough Guy had any sense, then I would hope that they knew that caffeine would also have the side effect of sleeplessness. What wait. Not only did they drink coffee to "zap" the headache, they decided that two Excedrin was needed on top of that. So, they knowingly took two doses of serious caffeine, complained about it online at 2:30am and then deservedly fell asleep at 5:00am. And all they can say is "Listen to your big sister". This is a total lapse in judgement.

I'm wondering though, what is the living arrangement here? Are these siblings living together or does our Tough Guy just like to bother family members with petty problems much like The Shredder did? And if so, I would think that our Tough Guy would value the advice of an older sister since it is apparently sought after so regularly.

Also, what they hell is the deal with the ice? Tough Guy's "teeth are starting to hurt from eating trays of ice cubes compulsively". I have only known dogs to eat ice cubes. Youtube agrees.

I guess my question is: What kind of person eats entire trays of ice cubes? Or what would you offer Tough Guy as a substitute for such an addiction?