The "Ellen" Hogan Show

I was 15 and had just made the move from a very private school where I had studied for nine years, to a very public school. Like many people in that situation, I was forced to introduce myself all over again and since I had never done that before, I was a little intimidated. A perk of being in that position is that you have to chance to reinvent yourself. After all, no one knows you so you can fudge a few facts or erase some that you weren't all that fond of in the first place.


After a few months there, I had made some solid friends and seemed to have a reasonably good standing in the 600+ person freshman class. I hadn't broken the cool barrier by any means, but I was known and hadn't been branded as anything that would effect my upward social movement or my self-confidence.

One day, I walked into the common area. The common area was the place that all the conventionally cool people congregated in the morning. I was usually in there, but often times I was not in the mood for the empty conversation and hyped-up personal stories. I was in there this day though. I walked in sporting a brand new striped black and orange Structure shirt and was immediately approached by my friends. We started chatting for a few and out of nowhere, one of my heavier-set pals blurted out, "You look like Ellen."

"You look like Ellen." Those four words. Those four rotten words have been following me around since then. Sure, I escaped them from time to time, but they always came back. They came back later in high school. They came back in college a few times from different crowds. And now, it's made yet another appearance in Asia. Is there nowhere to run? No.

But what is it that looks so much like Ellen? Is it her man-ish look or my fe-man-ish appeal?



My name is George and I'm an Ellen look alike.

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